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Best Metal Album = Monotheist by Celtic Frost
I still cannot understand how or why this album got any mixed reviews whatsoever...this is as close to a metal masterpiece as you're likely to hear. If you don't agree, you're either too young to appreciate it and/or just don't understand the genre.
Best Horror Film = Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
While not technically a horror film (thought seeing a fat guy's scrotum smothering the film's star is pretty damn gross), it's frightning what we humans can still sit back and laugh at in this day and age (I'm no prude mind you...it's probably the funniest fucking movie I've EVER laid eyes on!)
As usual, there were more bad than good, so finding 10 worthy horror films was quite the task:
Best:
1. Pan's Labyrinth
2. The Descent
3. Masters of Horror: Imprint
4. Slither
5. Feast
6. The Woods
7. 2001 Maniacs
8. Saw III
9. Evil Aliens
10. Hard Candy
 Worst:
1. Rest Stop
2. Hostel
3. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
4. Do You Like Hitchcock
5. When a Stranger Calls
6. Lady in the Water
7. Andre the Butcher
8. Pulse
9. The Wicker Man
10. Bloodrayne
Top Ten Metal Records of 2006
Putting together any kind of top ten list can be a daunting task. Can I claim that I’ve heard every metal release of 2006, and what I’ve come up with here are the ten best of the lot? Well, no, not really. I’d like to think, though, that I’ve listened to far more metal than the average music fan and maybe that qualifies me to offer up my top ten list. More accurately, these are really the albums that stood out from the pack for me during the year. I do feel strongly that each release listed below is special and will provide hours of listening enjoyment...
1. Monotheist – Celtic Frost
Celtic Frost return to glory with the most intense, heavy, and awe-inspiring release of their amazing career. At times Monotheist is beautiful…massively heavy… gothic… introspective… and thought provoking. This album is nothing short of a masterpiece and will go down as one of the greatest metal records of all time, so it’s absolutely deserving of the number one ranking on this list.
2. Age of Winters – The Sword
Hands down the best “doom” release of the year, The Sword take the Sabbath sound and expand on it with riffs so very heavy, yet so catchy, that it’s hard to not be in awe of them. That this is their first record speaks volumes about this band’s potential.
 3. Dante XXI – Sepultura
After the rather unfocused 2003 release, Roorback, Sepultura’s future seemed uncertain. Dante XXI, however, displays a focus and intensity that’s been missing for a few years. A concept album, of sorts, based on Dante Alighieri's classic work of literature, "Divina Comedia (The Divine Comedy)", this release stretches out into progressive territory and loses the “world beat” sound so often associated with previous Sepultura records. At times there is a raw power to this record, which is a nice contrast to the conceptual lyrical approach. Without a doubt this record ranks high in Sepultura’s storied career.
 4. Rio Grande Blood – Ministry
The third installment of Al Jourgensen’s anti George W. Bush trilogy, Rio Grande Blood is everything you’d expect from Ministry, and more. Jourgensen seems more focused and directs his seething anger directly at the heart of America’s corrupt Presidential administration with a relentless attack that only Ministry can deliver. Joined by supremely talented Tommy Victor (Prong) and Paul Raven (Prong, Killing Joke) on bass, this record is a completely brutal aural assault on government corruption and failed policies.
 5. The Black is Never Far – Place of Skulls
This, their third release, is a big, bottom-ended, doom-laden, brooding riff-fest that would make Tony Iommi proud. As the title suggests, The Black is Never Far deals with the inner struggles of man and the constant battle to keep from being overcome with the darkness around us. Sonically the CD switches from moments of absolute doom fury to moments of psychedelic tinged interludes and provides a sense of hope that there’s a way through it all.
6. I – Sahg
A Norwegian doom/stoner super group of sorts (featuring members of Gorgoroth, Audrey Horne, and Manngard), Sahg have blessed us with an infectious, trippy, heavy doom-inspired release that satisfies from beginning to end (and is, perhaps the most radio-friendly doom in years).
 7. III: In The Eyes of Fire – Unearth
I’ve never been a big fan of the hugely popular “metalcore” subgenre, so that makes this pick all the more surprising. The truth is, though, Unearth’s newest offering remind me a bit more of straight up thrash metal. The massive dual guitar onslaught…the thick bottom end…and the brilliant, precise concrete sledgehammer drumming (Mike Justian, you are no slouch) on these 11 superb metal tracks is aggressive and teeming with energy and conviction. No, this isn’t some kiddie mall/metal core release…this is straight up metal, and I loves me my metal.
8. A Line of Deathless Kings – My Dying Bride
Everybody’s favorite gothic, funeral doom band returns with their strongest release in several years. For the most part, it’s business as usual…the lyrical content deals with much of the same subject matter that My Dying Bride has become known for (anguish, misery, tragedy), but what’s different this go around is a slightly more aggressive metallic sound, as opposed to the more gothic leanings of past releases. Overall, there’s something slightly more accessible about A Line of Deathless Kings, though it’s hardy more commercial sounding…perhaps just a bit more focused and even a bit heavier.
 9. Greenland – Teeth of the Hydra
A concept album of sorts for Ohio’s Teeth of the Hydra dealing with the hardships of the Viking settlement of Greenland, this is a huge, nasty, sludgy, skull-smashing release that deserves your attention. While there seems to be an abundance of Odin-influenced metal these days (wait a minute, what’s this stuff doing outside of the Black Metal scene?), it’s easy to forgive Teeth of the Hydra; thankfully there’s nothing over-the-top or self-indulgent here, just 11 steamrolling, ass kicking tracks to make you rethink the term “heavy”.
10. (TIE)
 Void – Intronaut
The sole “prog-metal” selection on this list, Intronaut have made quite an impact with “Void”, their second release. Chock full of atonal chords, challenging time signatures, and “trippy” interludes, Void could be best described as “thinking man’s metal”, in the tradition of, perhaps, Mastodon and Messugah. What’s most impressive, though, is that the self-indulgence is held in check, and Void rips through with fury and determination. At times brutal and intense, it’s also surprisingly accessible.
 Ultimate Destroyer – Lair of the Minotaur
These guys sound like nothing else and words are hard to come by to describe their sonic assault. I’m tempted to simply tell you that this is just pure, huge, nasty, loud, noisy, chugging, and brutal metal because well…it is. This is pure metal as we should all know it. Each song is so chock full of great riffs and metallic fury that it’s not for the faint of heart. I can’t recommend this record enough, and each listen brings with it a new appreciation for the awesome power of Lair of the Minotaur.
Metal's Top 10 of 2006:
1. CELTIC FROST - Monotheist
2. NAPALM DEATH - Smear Campaign
3. SUFFOCATION - s/t
4. DEATH BREATH - Stinking Up the Night
5. DEVIN TOWNSEND BAND - Synchestra
6. ATHERETIC - Apocalyptic Nature Fury
7. IRON MAIDEN - A Matter of Life and Death
8. SADUS - Out For Blood
9. MIND ERASER - Glacial Reign
10. DRAGONFORCE - Inhuman Rampage
Metal's Lucky 13 for 2006 (alphabetical order):
 Agalloch – Ashes Against the Grain
Blut Aus Nord - MoRT
Celtic Frost – Monotheist
Coldworker – The Contaminated Void
Death Breath - Stinking Up The Night
Deicide – The Stench of Redemption
Dismember – The God that Never Was
Dominion – Born God and Aware
Iron Maiden – A Matter of Life and Death
Napalm Death – Smear Campaign
Sahg – Sahg 1
Satyricon – Now, Diabolical
The Sword – Age of Winters
Top 5 Metal Releases of 2006:
1. Celtic Frost – Monotheist
All hail one of the founding fathers. This record is a truly heartfelt, emotional release. “Metal grows up” hardly gives this justice. Metal had something to say this year, and this is it.
2. The Sword – Age of Winters
This record got a lot of crap when it came out for being un-original (Sleep Rip-off). But, who cares??? Kick-ass from start to finish. (What the hell’s wrong with Sleep anyway?) This is the one new band this year that guarantees to pummel us in the future. While others will falter, I expect nothing but continued greatness from these guys.
3. Mastodon – Blood Mountain
It just doesn’t get much better than this. Totally original sound, and mind-blowing to say the very least. This release brought these guys to the next level, which equates to at least Princedom in the Kingdom of Metal.
4. Boris – Pink
OK, everybody knows I have a huge affinity for this band, and this release. Metal, Noise, Punk, you name it. It’s all here and I’ll take it all.
5. Jesu – Silver EP
Shoegaze Metal? What a great idea. I swear that everything Justin touches turn to Gold (or perhaps Silver, no pun intended). Really loved this one this year. Can’t wait for the LP in February.
Top 10 in Metal for 2006:
1) Celtic Frost - Monotheist
2) Sahg - Sahg I
3) Seemless - What Have We Become
4) The Sword - Age Of Winters
5) Voivod - Katorz
6) Tenacious D - The Pick Of Destiny
7) Wednesday 13 - Fang Bang
8) Tarantula A.D. - Book of Sand
9) Iron Maiden - A Matter of Life and Death
10) Priestess - Hello Master
Choppy’s Top Whatever of 2006:
Top Metal Albums –
Monotheist - Celtic Frost
Blood Mountain - Mastodon
Top Horror Flicks –
(Good)
God of Vampires
Slither
Feast
Night Watch
(Crap)
Stay Alive
The Descent
Silent Hill
Scary Movie 4
Hostel
Tops of The Year for DZ:
Music –
1. Front Line Assembly - Artificial Soldier
2. Mastadon - Blood Mountain
3. Delerium - Nuages Du Monde
4. Masta Killah - Made In Brooklyn
5. Spetsnaz - Hardcore Hooligans
DVDs –
 1. Macumba Sexual
2. The Devil's Sword
3. Bare Behind Bars
4. Dark Waters
5. Sukeban Deka
6. Matalo
7. Curse Of The Crying Woman
8. Creation Of The Humanoids/War Between The Planets
9. Satan's Blood
10. Justine and Juliette |
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by Chuck Ferreira
2006 was a very good year for metal fans as it seemed that virtually every month, there was a new release, or two, worthy of making us take out the ol’ wallet and part with our hard-earned money. No release stood larger than Celtic Frost’s Monotheist – hands down the heaviest, most massive sounding slab of metal to smash our eardrums into submission in 2006. Of course, it’s impossible to please everyone all of the time, but the peculiar division over this CD has me baffled. Altogether heavy, beautiful, frightening, and seething with intensity, Monotheist is the album Celtic Frost was made to create. Not only is it the best release in their storied history, but it’s also the best metal release of the past 5 years (yes, that’s what I said).
A couple months back, I read a print article which focused on band reunions in a very reputable publication, and was taken aback by comments made by the one of the “content experts” chosen for the article, Jeff Walker (formerly of Carcass). In his dissertation of Celtic Frost’s return, he boldly made the assertion that instead of releasing Monotheist, Tom and Martin (the creative double-headed monster of Celtic Frost for you uninitiated) should have instead focused on re-recording old material from their adolescent days when they were both in the pre-Celtic Frost outfit called Hellhammer.
After a fit of laughter, and then cursing, it got me to thinking; is this what metal fans really want? Do they want their heroes to remain in a state of suspended animation (adolescence?), never moving forward to stretch out artistically? Jeff Walker apparently thinks so, and as a musical peer and artist of sorts, it’s somewhat surprising to me. He should know better. Monotheist took 5 years to create and represents the band’s masterpiece – a culmination of battle scars and struggles during the years after Celtic Frost’s initial demise, wrought with personal struggles and the exorcism of personal demons. To suggest that they would have been better off (or more worthy of credibility) re-recording songs they wrote at age 17, mimicking their favorite bands at the time and trying hard to appear evil and scary...well, that’s just a slap in the face.
Damn you Jeff Walker (did anyone even purchase his new “country” project, Carcass Cuntry?), you just don’t get it. If you didn’t pick up “Monotheist” this year for some reason, I urge you to make the investment and take the time to get into this CD and explore its massive heaviness and gothic beauty. For those of us who demand more from metal, this is it; this is what you’re looking for.
Perhaps no band raised more eyebrows during 2006 than a quartet from Austin, Texas called The Sword. These guys seemed to come out of nowhere with one of the best releases of the year, Age of Winters, a massive doom-inspired exercise in Tony Iommi riffology. To the delight of many, there seems to be a renaissance of Sabbath-esque doom metal these days with bands like Pearls and Brass, Teeth of the Hydra, Sahg, Wall of Sleep, Dozer, and Place of Skulls, to name just a few, all releasing solid albums over the past two years, but amazingly, The Sword has drawn nearly as much criticism as it has accolades.
Before going further it’s important to reaffirm what we already know; metal as we know it today would not exist if it were not for the four Birmingham, England legends known as Black Sabbath. Every band who has ever de-tuned a guitar and played riff-oriented rock music owes a debt of gratitude to Sabbath. Tony Iommi has written every great riff in metal that will ever be written, and to argue this point is futile. That’s not to suggest that there haven’t been other innovators in metal, because, of course, after Sabbath’s initial impact, metal splintered into many excellent subgenres. Bands choosing to continue playing Sabbath-inspired riffs, however, are perhaps playing the purest, most original form of metal.
Detractors of The Sword like to take their shots at the band, claiming their sound somehow too closely mimics that of doom legends, Sleep, or that their approach too closely resembles their heroes. While there is, no doubt, a similarity in sound and songwriting to what Sleep accomplished, can this influence not be traced directly back to Black Sabbath? Unfortunately I’ve even read comments throughout the year by Sleep’s very own former guitarist Matt Pike (now leader of the overrated High on Fire) that suggests he may somehow believe that Sleep was the originator of this sound. In one 2006 print article, for instance, Mr. Pike went as far as to suggest that he present The Sword with a “cease and desist” order. Huh? What am I missing here? Does Mr. Pike really believe HE invented this sound? Perhaps his comments are fueled by jealously because his current vehicle, High on Fire, is nowhere close to being in the same league as The Sword. Make no mistake, Sleep was a great band and deserve every bit of recognition they have received for their part in keeping the doom torch lit during an era in Metal when bands were only interested in playing with speed and fury. Their greatest achievement, Sleep’s Holy Mountain remains one of the best all-time metal releases and their place in the metal lineage is safe and secure.
But to detract The Sword as Sleep copycats is completely off base. The Sword bring with them a fresh approach far heavier and more brutal than their predecessors. Thankfully, The Sword is just getting started, and 2007 should be an even bigger year for the band with a new album in the works and continued touring. Their legend will continue to grow, and Matt Pike and the rest of the haters will just have to deal with the fact that this band is the real deal and they’re not going anywhere. That they wear their influences on their sleeve is more of a sign of respect. I firmly believe that, for the guys in The Sword, they don’t know another way, and that’s not a bad thing.
There probably hasn’t been any band more immersed in drama this year than Brazilian thrash-metal stalwarts, Sepultura. The news that surrounded them in 2006 (and seemingly heading into 2007) is enough on which to base a soap opera. To set the stage, the brothers Cavalera form the band in the late `80s and then added guitarist and co-principal songwriter Andreas Kisser for their second release. Sepultura’s popularity grew steadily, and they released a batch of critically acclaimed albums in the early `90s (Beneath the Remains, Arise, Chaos A.D.) and achieved a creative peak with Roots, released in 1996.
After a somewhat acrimonious parting of ways with co-founder Max Cavalera, Sepultura went on to release a string of solid, but somewhat underachieving records with new lead singer, Derrick Green, while Max went on to form a new project called Soulfly. After the somewhat disappointing Roorback in 2003, many thought the writing was on the wall for Sepultura. But, 2006 saw the release of the incredible Dante XXI – by far the greatest release during the Derrick Green era of the band, and certainly deserving of ranking among the great Sepultura records recorded with Max Cavalera. Yeah, it’s that good.
Instead of having the chance to bask in the glory of their best release in a decade, Sepultura are, instead, constantly under pressure by the metal community to put the original line-up back together. In late 2006, Igor Cavalera, drummer supreme and co-founder of the band with brother Max, decided to step down, leaving the band with one original member in bassist Paulo Xisto (Andreas Kisser joined for their second record). This move, of course, has done nothing but fuel more and more rumors of a pending “classic” lineup reunion with both Cavalera brothers returning to the band.
Thankfully, to this point, Andreas Kisser has consistently shot down the rumors and has gone on record as saying that he’s not interested in this reformation. Whether or not this actually takes place remains to be seen, but it would be a terrible mistake if it were to happen. It would be a shame if the current lineup were to be dismantled to make way for a money-making “classic lineup” tour. It took a while, but the current Derrick Green-fronted lineup has developed a tight, creative chemistry. With the release of Dante XXI, Sepultura have come back to a creative height not achieved since the days of Chaos A.D. and Roots, and it’s certainly head and shoulders above anything released by Max Cavalera’s Soulfly project.
For those of you out there clamoring for this reunion...why? How many times do those old “classic lineups” really regain any sense of creative chemistry? In most cases they end up just paying a “greatest hits” tour and fade into obscurity. Would it make sense for Andreas Kisser to cast aside Derrick Green and cash in on one tour and find that he and Max Cavalera still can’t stand one another on a personal level? Probably not. It’s best to remember the greatness of the original lineup and let it be, and continue to support the band’s current efforts. Dante XXI proves that this band is still capable of greatness and I, for one, am far more interested in seeing where this creative direction takes them.
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